Self Indulgence

Yesterday’s morning’s commute is one for the books.

It was one of those days when the only money left in my wallet was enough for a one-way van or P2P ride.  I did not withdraw money the night before because I decided I’d just do it when I get to work the following day.  I’ve done it before and I guess there wouldn’t be a hitch…..

After I parked my car, I checked both van terminals if vans are readily available and seeing a line in one and the other empty of passengers and vans, I decided to flag a bus to go to the P2P bus terminal.

I was thinking I still have P32 credit in my Beep card based on the last time I rode a P2P bus and so I have enough.  So I went to the loading booth and paid P50.  When the lady gave the receipt to me showing P52 balance, she told me that fare increased to P80.  I was perplexed.  I mentally pictured the content of my beautiful wallet and it is not good.  There is P20 in bill and two P10 coins and some other coins.  I know that P50 is the minimum load but I asked just the same if less than P50 can be loaded and the lady just looked at me.

I can actually withdraw money but I was too lazy to go to the mall which is around 20 meters away.  I also didn’t want to be left by the bus which is filling up fast.  If I am left, the next one will leave after 30 minutes and I do not want to be late for work.

I was uncomfortable feeling other passengers staring from my back as I emptied and counted my coins which included several P0.25 coins.  I was relieved when I managed to come up with another P50.  The lady didn’t even count my payment and processed my Beep card again.

I went inside the bus and took a seat irked with myself and feeling so ‘poor’.  How could I have barely P100 on my way to work when others have enough to buy a car or condo in their purse!  I also scolded myself silently for my poor choice in commuting when I could have just waited for a van to be sure I have enough fare money.

I was being hard on myself until I read a FB post I saved for later reading in my phone about Geoselle Dela Cruz, who graduated cum laude from UP recently after so much trials.  Her story is so inspiring.  Geoselle is an amazing young lady who would make any parent proud.

I went from being petty to reexamining my beliefs, my values and I wanted to slap myself for even thinking  of comparing myself with those who have more.  This incredible lady make do with what whatever she has or doesn’t have and still thank God for making her the better for it.  I am always grateful for stories like this which put my feet back on the ground whenever I am feeling entitled or self-indulgent.  I don’t like others when they are that way.  I certainly dislike me when the spoiled me manifests itself.

Make sure you read  Geoselle’s FB post on her struggles to finish her studies.  You’ll thank God for your many blessings.  From now on, I will strive hard to be thankful even when my pockets are empty.